Plinko!

from Eargasm by The Schizophriends

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lyrics

Ever since I was a little girl I enjoyed watching the price is right. Bob barker really knows how to make a woman swoon. 40 years later and here I am flipping through the channels, lo and behold the clock strikes 10. I know what that means. Time to come on down. They’ve got lots of games on there, and I’ve mastered them all. I’ve built replicas of Cliff Hangers and Dice Game in my basement. But there’s one game that stands above all.

PLINKO! (x12)
READY NOW! COME ON DOWN!
PLINKO! (x12)
DROP IT DOWN! HERE WE GO!

I finally made up my mind, I sold my house in Pittsburgh and all my children and made my way to the studio in southern California. On the flight over, the air marshall started to…ah, never mind. That’s a story for another time. Anyway, I got in the audience line, and they interviewed me. I knew what they wanted….me. Sure enough, after some shmuck loses on One Away, Drew Carey tells me to come on down. I easily bid the closest without going over in Contestant’s Row. I’m ready for my moment. My time to play…

PLINKO! (x12)
READY NOW! COME ON DOWN!
PLINKO! (x12)
DROP IT DOWN! HERE WE GO!

As they wheel out the magnificent Plinko machine, something goes horribly wrong. The machine runs over Drew’s foot and falls and smashes the glass on the front into pieces. I'd be unable to play plinko. They told me it was ok, I could play Punch-A-Bunch instead.
I felt like I handled the ensuing events with a great deal of restraint and dignity. The fire only claimed 34 victims. I made my way over to the machine and propped it up. Before I was engulfed in the surrounding inferno, I was going to play one last game of…

PLINKO! (x12)
READY NOW! COME ON DOWN!
PLINKO! (x12)
DROP IT DOWN! HERE WE GO!

credits

from Eargasm, released December 22, 2011
Alex Mattingly - Drums, Lead Vocals
Evan Ledesma - Bass, Backing Vocals
Max Symmes - Synth, Backing Vocals

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The Schizophriends Huntington Beach, California

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